Artifice and All

Artifice and All

You know I’d like to
Unfasten my breasts 
Rustle around the fat and tissue
Identify the clip with “aha!”
Release myself from the weight
As the sun floats down,
swallowed by fig trees in the front,
Leaves like webbed fingers
Outlined in blush orange.

When I’m free from the mass,
I can shower and scrub my 
chest until it’s sharp 
Pat with a soft blue towel
And be clean, finally clean. 

But lying in bed, 
it’s not enough to be in the fresh sheets 
Bright fingers and toes 
Moving in circles,
The weight is suffocating.

Chest caught with rotten goo,
Polished layers of skin hiding poison,
Rotating screens, dirty puddles, missed trains,
Headlights on conveyor belts
Trapped in the center, 
dizzied by commands.

Stack up wooden protein intakes. 
Plug in the experts. 
Focused on all of me and
we mean All Of Me.
Doctors Who Get It. We get it. 
Nod with me. They get it. 

Simple, slick down and suck up. 
Seventeen Pounds Disappear in 2 Months.
No In-Person Visits Required. 
Virtual weekly shots. Virtual knife. 
Bupropion, Metformin. 
Cleansing all the nasty things,
Dirty, disgusting, rotten 
that bloat, clot, pump the derm. 

Could you stand it 
if instead, I shed my skin 
like light summer clothing?
Sundresses, linen pants, white cotton shorts
That you like so much, 
Folded neatly into that special dresser
And just my bones and skull, smooth stones, 
Warm, gloriously, warm,
And simple. 

Please buzz in
the radio, on top
that special dresser,
Let me hear it crackle and snap

Please tell me how 
lovely I am
Artifice and all,
Tossed about in the sheets,
rattling sound
Dice in a wooden cup
It’s chance, fate, destiny!

Bodies netted together.
Desire as bright 
as a dotted track.